Showing posts with label stolen items. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stolen items. Show all posts

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The National Post has a sense of humour

After Michaëlle Jean's controversial seal heart eating shennanigans (which, in my opinion, was awesome on several levels) and Europe's heart-stopping horror, and all this being in the wake of the EU's seal product ban, the National Post has demonstrated an understanding of satire. NP blogger Matt Gurney today wrote part one of a (implicitly) series on the horrors committed by Europeans for the sake of cuisine. The first harmless, helpless creature? The snail.
    These helpless creatures' defences have proven no match for the cruelty of man. For thousands of years, they have been hunted and subjected to bizarre tortures before being consumed as a delicacy by heartless and out-of-touch Europeans.



I was as surprised as you and my officemates were to find this delightful bit right of the National Post's yellow banner, but there you have it. If we can expect more of the same from Mr. Gurney, I'll finally have more reason to read the Post than idle wondering about what the right-wingers are saying about things.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Budget Time

It's really too bad that the budget, unlike the Throne Speech, is no good to drink to. Because after hearing about the latest budget, some of us might want a stiff one. In case you haven't heard, here are the highlights:
  • $85B deficit over five years
  • $20B personal tax cuts and $2B business tax cuts over six years
  • $12B for infrastructure, including $1B for "green" infrastructure and $1B for clean energy
  • Extended EI
  • $8.3B for skills and training
  • $2.7B loans to the auto industry

At first glance, it doesn't look so bad, if not surprisingly un-conservative. Jim Flaherty, luckily, was ready to ease the minds of those who might be confused.
JOURNALIST: It doesn't look like a very conservative budget, does it?
JIM FLAHERTY: Heh heh ... well ... you know ...

I'm not sure if that sounds like incompetence, or if that's really all there is to say at this point.

So what can we really expect from this budget? Well, it's a recession budget, that's inevitable, what with us all shitting our pants like it's 1929. The Minister of Finance was clearly keeping this in mind, as you can see that the first point is the -- wait, I'm going to put in the zeroes this time, just so you can see how many there are -- $85 000 000 000 deficit, because if there is one thing that this recession has taught us, it's that you can't go wrong spending money that you do not have.

Okay, okay, let's give the Tories the benefit of the doubt. You've got to spend money to create money, right? The $20B in personal tax cuts are targeted at the lower tax brackets, which is good, because it means that those of us who exist on a grand total of $10,000 per year (plus tuition fees) will still be able to afford no-name peanut butter for our sandwiches, despite possible economic hardships.
(Okay, I'm exaggerating. Kind of.)

$12B for infrastructure sounds pretty good too. Since basically the agricultural revolution, good infrastructure has been loosely connected to a good economy. You create jobs for people to design, build, run, and maintain said infrastructure itself, and the people who make stuff can take it to places where other people are waiting to buy it. In a more modern sense, you can take yourself from wherever you live to wherever you are employed on a daily basis. Sounds simple enough. Money for infrastructure = good! Oh, but federal funds are rarely anything resembling simple. Toronto mayor David Miller may be biased, sure, but he may also be kind of an expert on the subject. And his most recent press conference suggests that he is concerned that cities will have to jump through hoops of red tape in order to see any of that $12B -- if they do.

Extended EI and skills and training also sound good for a recession. After all, when the auto plant tells you not to bother coming in on Monday, you're going to need to learn to do something slightly more recession-proof, and you're still going to need to feed your self/family in the meantime. If you really want to, you could even go back and be a student, which is to some extent recession-proof. Remember, if you default on your student loan, the bank can't foreclose on your brain.

And medicine is a recession-proof field!

Finally, the auto industry money. At first, I was in favour of the whole auto bailout thing. My shameful secret is that my family is from the Niagara region, where the auto industry is kind of a big deal. The shame I feel at being so connected to St. Catharines is an indirect result of the GM plant there laying off basically everyone, thereby killing the economy, and everything good and beautiful in the city, and if there is one thing that terrifies me, it is the idea of living in a city like St. Catharines. So do I want auto plants across Canada to shut their doors, putting countless cities at risk of turning into St. Catharines?
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
We've got to fight economic collapse at every turn! Economic prosperity or death, my friends!

Then, I saw this photograph.

What are all those tiny white dots on that massive asphalt strip? Those, my friends, are unsold cars being stored until such time as the dealer requests them. This is not standard procedure. The auto companies have simply manufactured far more cars than they can sell. And the best part is, they are still making more. Therefore, I would like to propose that, in line with the principles of common sense, we stop making shit that no one can buy. Let's turn the auto assembly plants into auto disassembly plants, and salvage what we can from these beasts to make something useful. Now there's a long-term economic strategy.

To wrap up this budget-related rant, so what if it isn't a very conservative budget. It's not perfect, but it's the first indication we've had that the Tories might be willing to stop being jerks and play nice in the House. Layton may be shouting "Shame!" but that's just what he does. For heaven's sake, a 143-seat minority who is willing to co-operate is far, far preferable to an expensive and unwanted snap election, or even an unsteady, divisive coalition (although admittedly less thrilling). Would I personally prefer a conservative government? No. Do I think that it's the best thing for Canada right now? Heh heh ... well ... you know.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Fun

For a bit of Halloween fun, one of my favourite poems, Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven.



As much as I like the Simpson's version, they leave out a few stanzas, including the operative one. You can read the full version here, or search YouTube for the recording-only version read by the incomparable James Earl Jones. If you like Poe's poetry as much as I do, or think you might, read another of his popular gothic poems, Annabelle Lee.

Or, if you like zombies and/or sciency stuff, check out the science behind the zombie legend.

Monday, October 13, 2008

How to Vote

The polls open in less than twelve hours and close in less than twenty-four. (For those of you not in the loop, it's 9:30-21:30. Yes, you can vote after work.) By this point, you had better know for whom you are voting. Wait, what do you mean you have no idea?!

Well, if you prefer to vote for candidates rather than parties, good for you. You're a selfish bastard. See if your riding is offering a Sexy Candidate to vote for.

If you vote for parties rather than candidates, congratulations on being a lazy, scheming bum who cares more about politics than the needs of your riding. You should check out the Toronto Star's super-fun Party Game (props to Vincent for finding this). Or, if arts are your favourite issue this election, check out my article on arts-related platforms at the La Scena Musicale's website, here and ici. You can read more La Scena Musicale articles about the arts and politics: The Arts Get Political and Understanding Canada's Cultural-Industrial Complex, if you like the economy too.

Have fun excersing your democratic right/duty.

Monday, September 29, 2008